A Compass in the Dark
by Silver Blazen
Summary: She can't take his pain away, but she can guide him out of the shadows of his grief. {Steggy: Captain America: First Avenger}


**A Compass in the Dark**

 **All characters belong to Marvel Comics**

 _ **For : JuliaAurelia**_

"Captain, are you alright?" There's always a gravity of strength in her words, even though, Peggy looks nonplussed to convey restraint. She doesn't submit to the slightest flutter of hesitation. She finds the right direction, grounding her feet between the hellish sea of war.

As she becomes fully conscious of the moment, Peggy feels a challenging pulse injecting into her heart; it's driven by a sense of attachment that resumes within a relentless blaze. She can easily turn away, but the reeling desire to fall into the solid embrace of his arms steers her dark eyes to focus on his slumped figure sitting in the contrasts of winter-born darkness.

In grounded balance, Peggy measures her advancing steps, carefully over shards of glass and discarded pieces of furniture, only graceful poise exists in her stance and she tries not to allow her own fashioned urges to engage a heated moment with Captain America. "Steve?" she tries reaching him again.

Steve doesn't answer her. He's lost in a haze of unreserved grief; she watches the hard muscles of his jaw clench, revealing the knife-edge curve as he shifts an intent gaze of azure to a frosted window; staring listlessly outward to the emptiness.

A slow burn of whiskey doesn't last to dull his senses, and yet he reaches for the bottle. His thoughts are in a rampant array; he can't focus on the existing moment before him.

Pain openly keeps him fastened on the wooden stool, in silence he stares at drops sloping over the glass. He harbors onto the utmost of failure and keeps his voice reserved. _'It should've been me...'_ There's a momentary relief as the anchoring fragrance of rose and cherry grows potent in the chilled air of the desolated tavern. Only darkness is between them. It's shelter for the night; although he wants to drift into the heavy snowfall and go back to the icy gorge. He can't let go of Bucky. He doesn't want to feel alone—disconnected with himself.

After masking a faint sniffle, Steve finally lets the blurring tears wet his cheeks, the sting of pain that carves into his skin. "It's kinda hard to sleep tonight," he breaths in ragged despondence, pouring the last contents of the bottle into a shot glass. "I keep thinkin' Buck's gonna be standing over my shoulder, tellin' me to wake up; like he always did."

Peggy refuses to allow him to dissolve in grief. HYDRA is at their doorstep, and Captain America needs to command them to victory. She understands the risks of war, the choices that are made in a heartbeat. She carries heartache ultimately for her older brother who believed her in adventurous spirit. "James Barnes was a dear friend and one hell of a soldier," she amends with reverence chasing her silken tone. She clicks her heels closer to the table, still distant but there's a desire to their closeness that gleams in her chocolate eyes. "He will be remembered for the choice he made, Captain, and I know you will honor it. Some part of Barnes will be there fight with you, because if you hold onto his memories, you'll never really lose him."

Steve creases his brow, hardened lines are evident to his remorse; he slowly lifts his teary gaze to her ethereal visage in a trench coat, and he tries to reclaim strength in those humble words. His voice is locked, as faint sobs echo within his tensed chest. He swallows down the wash of tears, as his full lips unabashedly curve to sulk.

Fighting another onslaught of soul-deep pain, Steve tips the whiskey bottle and stares emptily as amber liquid fills his smudged glass. It becomes intolerable for him, hitching sobs obstruct the deep resonance of his dismal voice, and he takes rapid sips, trying to force everything down. "Y'know, this wasn't how I thought it would be, Bucky made a promise, and I guess I'm still believing in those words...I have too."

Right there, he doesn't wear the visage of steeled commander, ready to be called to arms to ram his shield through a HYDRA barricade. The depth in glistening azure eyes reveals boyish innocence of little brother who lost his big brother to war. Peggy never looks away, she holds his dismal stare with a regard of solace. Her ruby lips part, just enough to show her dimples as her eyebrows arch to convey her reflecting words."Believe in your friend, Steve, and prove to yourself that Barnes didn't die for nothing."

Steve nods silently and flickers a gaze down at the dog tags clutched in his fist, the only piece of Bucky's existence that he keeps close. The coolness of those metal -engraved plates fade with tensed and feverish heat."I can't shake this, Peg, not when I know that it's my fault, Buck took the hit for me and I wasn't fast enough to reach him..."

He dismisses another flow of warm tears; an intense and cold flash of memory zaps through his bones. Guilt starts to clot into his veins. He instinctively balls his hand into a fist, squeezing the skin hard as whiteness collects over his knuckles. He's unable to release the suddenness of rage. It's overtaking. His heart sinks deeper as tears stir in his eyes."I lost today, both as Captain America and Steve Rogers-"

"You didn't lose, Captain," Peggy whispers in a faltering tone remnants of candle light edge in his blue depths, she closes the distance with him, tentative to her approach. Effortlessly, her lithe hand reaches for his broad shoulder, heat radiates her graceful touch, soothing and reverent. His hand lifts slowly to grasp onto it. "You still have tomorrow..."

It takes Steve a moment to digest that hope, he braves to allow an errant tear to fall. He can't submit to grief. In a measured breath, he veers her hand close to his mouth, as his softened lips a press on her knuckles hard with bruising and desperate force. Breath is heaving out his chest; he gazes up at her with fierce determination ablaze in his blue eyes. Peggy can see he's recalling determination to avenge Bucky. He swallows down tightly, as the edges of his mouth slant into a stern line."You're right, Peg, I gotta to let go of past, I gotta finish the fight for Buck."

Without exposing tears as wetness gather in her eyes, Peggy curves her ruby lips, altered smile holds tenderness as she murmurs out a promise of unity to him, one steady heartbeat. "You won't be alone."

Her promising words echo at the moment fire stokes into his unyielding heart, he pulls out the chair and rises to a ground stance, gazing back into the anchoring light that shines depthless in her eyes. Dawn is coming, he knows there will a cost of defiance once he suits up for battle.

His hand tentatively strained for contact as his palm curved over the sleek contour of her jaw and he tells her with the utmost measure of sincerity, holding back a new flow of tears. "If I make out of this alive," he whispers in a softened edge, and she almost melts as his breath ghosts over her elegant shaped lips. "I'm takin' you dancing, Agent Carter."

She mirrors his hopeful smile, pride be damned, and reaches for Bucky's dog tags, placing the chain over his neck. Her descending fingers graze over his shortened locks of blond. He knowingly meets her unwavering stare."So you remember who you're fighting for, Captain."

For a suspended moment of time, they see glimpses of true existence beyond their uniforms; and he takes her hand encompassing and reverent. He falls deep into the warmth of her stare,there he finds undying devotion. It's home to him. Peggy doesn't pull away, not even an inch from his towering shadow, her palm tenderly rests on the solid expanse of his chest, feeling and breathing as his heartbeat strengthens against the battle waging inside. He realizes that he has a new dawn guiding him to victory, and he won't stop fighting for her.

 _You'll never be alone..._


End file.
